Oh,Vulnerable Me!

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"Part of it is about not trying to be professional. A lot of people come into indie games, trying to be like a big company. What those game companies do is create highly polished things that serve as large an audience as possible. The way that you do that is by filing off all the bumps on something. If there's a sharp corner. You make sure that's not going to hurt anybody. That creation of this highly glossy, commercial product is the opposite of making something personal. Things that are personal have flaws. They have vulnerabilities. If you don't see a vulnerability in somebody. You're probably not relating to them on a very personal level. So it's the same with a game design. Making it, was about: let me take my deepest flaws and vulnerabilities, put them into the game, and let's see what happens." -- John Blow, Indie Game: The Movie.

I just finished watching Indie Game: The Movie. This was a greatly inspiring story. Holy cow! If you have dreams of any kind that you wish to share with the world then you should spend an hour and forty five minutes on this documentary. It is a story of four independent game designers, one duo team and two individuals, who set out to create and publish large platform games. It is a story of perseverance and resiliency. The cameras capture their darkest moments during production as well as the glimmer of inexpressible joy that's in their eyes as they achieve the success they fought so hard for. It's a well produced film that is definitely worth your time.

This too is my goal. I want my art to be as a mirror, and reflect my image to you and me. I want to throw all of my imperfections into my recipes of melodies and rhythms. I want my music to be raw, and have the capacity to make someone feel emotionally moved. I want to put you at ease. I want to give you a strong anxiety. I want to inspire you. I want you to cry for both joy and sadness. I want you to relate to me without words.

I was dining with friends in a steak house back when I was in high school, and a jazz trio happened to be playing that night. I can't remember their name to save my life. But they were very good musicians, and set a killer environment to dine in. Then it got that point in the show where they took it to a more intimate level. The guitarist preluded the song by outlining the story of his first daughter's birth. She and her mother had complications throughout the latter part of the pregnancy, and he spoke of his great anxiety and uncertainties during it all. But everything worked out for the good, and you could hear the joy in his voice when he talked about seeing his healthy daughter for the first time. Then they played this song that he wrote during that time of his life. I can't remember how the song sounded at all, but I do remember how it seemed to fill in every crevice of his story...and without words. It was a very empathetic moment that completely redefined how I interpreted music up to that point. With music alone, I felt, to some degree, the weight of his distress, and then joy of his relief from finding out everything was OK. I'll likely never forget this moment.

I hope I can create the same sort of experiences for you. I want you to not just experience my music, but I want you to experience me. That's great if you like me. That's great if you don't. But it will be by the content of the conversation that I define my success.